Realization #2

Sometimes people dislike you for no apparent reason.

It is rightly said, You Can't Please Everyone

When I was a teenager, I was very naïve and innocent. I wanted to please everybody around me and be Ms Goody-Goody. I believed in the phrase, "Do unto others as you would have others do unto you", and so I assumed if I like other people and be nice to them, they would do the same.

But slowly as I started dealing with outside world, I started realizing that however much you do for others, there will still be few who’ll dislike you, bitch about you and would be unhappy with you, sometimes for a reason, and sometimes without any obvious reason. People who don’t even know an inch about you or your life will have all sorts of notions about you that will be anything but true. And sadly instead of being guilty about it, they’ll be pretty content in their sweet ignorance bliss.

Initially all these used to affect me a lot and hurt me real bad. I used to spent sleepless nights over the issue and even shed tears on the irony of human behavior. But now, after all these years the realization has finally dawned upon me and I have swallowed the bitter pill that it is impossible to please everyone.

“Please all, and you will please none.”

So, if today I find out that Mr X doesn’t think highly of me or Ms Y has some wrong notions about me, it hardly matters to me. I have accepted to take these things in my stride and move on without raising a hue or cry over it.

Realization #1

One major lesson that I have learnt from my life so far is that “Everything happens for a reason and ultimately for the Good”.

When I was young, every time something ‘bad’ (which by my definition means things didn’t happen the way I wanted them to happen) happened to me, my mother consoled me by saying that it happened for my good and that I’ll realize it sometime later in life. But I never actually got comforted by it. Instead I used to go on fretting and whining about the problem, contemplating the WHY ME questions.

But as years passed by and I relooked at my life events from a fresh perspective, I realized that my mother’s words were indeed true. It took me a long time, but eventually I could see that even in the worst situations there were wonderful gifts, hidden opportunities, or life-enhancing lessons. And that we couldn't have got them any other way. If it were not for those situations I wouldn’t have been the person I am today.

People come and go in our lives. Their entry or exit is destined, to serve some sort of purpose, probably teach a lesson or help figure out who you are or who you want to become. Sometimes they do certain things that may seem horrible, painful and unfair to you at that time, but in reflection you realize that without overcoming those obstacles you wouldn’t have realized your potential, strength, will power or heart. The good that comes out of the bad things help you become your best and the most authentic self.

Remember, problems will always be a part of life. There’ll be times when you wouldn’t be able to find meaning in your life events (After all, the events in our lives doesn't come with labels attached to them telling us what they mean!!!) and you’d have no one to answer your questions. But at all such times don’t let your emotions cloud your vision. Just remember, God works in mysterious ways, and as long as you walk with Him, and just trust and believe, soon you’ll get to that place where you’ll see everything clearly, and you’ll finally begin to understand. Everything happens for a reason. You may not understand the reason now, but you will when the time is right.

Realizations

Friends,

As we move along the journey called Life, we unknowingly gain innumerous illuminating experiences and realizations that enlighten us emotionally, physically and spiritually.

My next few posts will be dedicated towards few such experiences and realizations that I have gained from my life so far.

But before I mention some of my realizations/experiences I wanna ask All YOU wonderful people out there to share such enriching experiences or realizations with me and everybody else that would give us an insight about your life. I request you all to take few moments to sit back, relax, close your eyes, and think what all you have learnt from this life so far and share it with us.

Lots of Love
Parul

Singh is not the King

Yesterday my Husband and I went to watch a movie, Singh Is king, after almost a year (actually it is impossible to watch a movie with a small kid in tow). We were expectecting a lot from the movie because of the hype but we were very disappointed. It turned out to be a very silly movie. It did not have anything much to offer except some lame punches that managed to bring few smiles once in a while. Apart from that it was a total no brainer. The movie totally belonged to the one and only, Akshay Kumar, whose comic timing was as good as ever. Katrina Kaif was also quite watchable.

My verdict- The movie is a typical Akshay Kumar mindless entertainer which has a great first half, beautifully picturised songs and a gorgeous Katrina Kaif. Go there without your brains and without any expectations coz only then it will manage to tickle your funny bone.

Wanna Booze?

These days the song “Main talli ho gayi” from the film ‘Ugly aur Pagli’ is gaining a lot of popularity. And it makes me wonder why alcohol (or the so-called “Drinks”) intake has become the coolest and the most “In” thing today? Why boozing has become the so-called ‘social norm'? Since childhood I have felt very strongly about drinking. Blame it on my conservative upbringing or my narrow-minded views (as may seem to u), but I have never found a reason convincing enough to approve alcohol or its habit. I cannot take it or approve of it just to be ‘hip and happening’. Now if that makes me backward then I am proud to be one.

Every day I read and hear about the crimes happening under the spell of alcohol, be it drunken drivers killing innocent lives, heinous acts with women, verbal duels or violence. I have often seen people overdrinking or “getting Full-Talli” and later making a complete fool out of themselves only to other’s embarrassment. Not only this, violent wives being abused by sloshed husbands has become an everyday ritual for numerous households all over.

Aren’t these reasons strong enough to abstain from it? And if that’s not enough then there is research that shows regular drinking could lead to permanent depression. So when alcohol paralyzes one’s rationality, sobriety and senses then why do people still indulge in it? Why do people lose their self-control in front of this charmer? Why can’t people realize that alcohol enters in their system like a devil coming in sheep skin?

Sadly alcohol has assumed ubiquity for all occasions, emotions and society today. Be it club, lounges or bar one finds alcohol as the primary characteristic there. Everyone seems to have become kinda dependent upon it. Be it to shake a leg or to converse with a friend or to feel alive or for some other reason, people first need a drink. Go to a disco and you’ll find young guys and girls dancing to deafening music, looking for relaxation in the darkness, under those neon lights gulping peg after peg even if they have to settle for hangovers instead of sleep later. Everybody feels that it will make them forget all pain and problems. But they fail to understand that it does not solve the problem. It just temporarily blinds them to it. And in their illusion of liberation, they even lose their precious time on hangovers instead of concentrating on the issue at hand.

Let us assume for a sec we know all the reasons why people booze. Now let me ask something? The same reasons apply to non drinkers also then what is it that stops them from taking it up? Or is it just the matter of strong will and determination? Ask Yourself Guys what is your reason to take it? The ones mentioned above or something else? Or maybe you don’t know? Have never asked yourself yet? Are you doing it merely because everybody else is doing it? Don’t answer me. Answer your conscience. I know you will not admit it because you need a reason to continue doing it.

I know I am going to invite a lot of people’s wrath but for once Think Guys. Why are you adding to life’s brevity and uncertainty by surrendering to alcohol? Lounging, clubbing, drinking… none is wrong. The fallacy is in your dependency on it. Don’t create a fake world to celebrate life or to handle the blows of the real world. When you start wrong, how can the end be right? Alcohol is neither a taboo nor poison. But it does not take long for its magic to turn into sorcery. Life is just so beautiful and so magical to waste it for surreal things.

But whatever be your take on it let me know what do you have to say about it? Who knows you become the first person on this earth to convince me about it? What say?

Thank You EveryOne!!!

Thank you guys for your overwhelming response on my post "Remembering Richa". Thank you all for understanding my feelings and empathizing what we all must have gone through while dealing with it. I had always hesitated talking about that incident and preferred remaining silent on my version of the tragedy. But through this space I have been able to lift a burden off my chest by venting out old bottled up sentiments.
I can thus move on in life, leaving my past behind and learning from the harsh realities of life thereby cherishing the value of life and the value of those present in my life a little more than before....
May God Bless you All...

Remembering Richa...

The recent bomb blasts in Bangalore and Ahmedabad have brought alive the memories of my ex-colleague (I was working before marriage!!!), Richa Pandey, whom we had lost in the ill-fated Sarojini Nagar Blasts on 29 October 2005.

Richa was in Sarojini Nagar only when the whole incident took place. She had gone there (alone) for some Diwali shopping for her mother and sister (Richa lost her father long time back and she was the only earning member of her family). Who knew that she had gone there NEVER to come back. Only God knows what exactly happened with her at that time. For two days her body couldn't be found and no one, be it her family or friends (that includes her room-mates and colleagues) had any clue about her whereabouts (Richa lived as a paying guest in Delhi, her family lived in some state in UP). Needless to say hell broke on her family when they did find her burnt body.

Her tragic death continues to affect me even after 3 long years. I still remember Richa so well. In fact it seems like just yesterday. That very day I had met Richa in the morning in the office. I left the office in afternoon in a hurry (actually it was Saturday, half-day and I had to catch a movie) without saying bye to her (that time she wasn’t on seat) as I usually did then (she sat right opposite my seat). Little did I know that the next time I would reach my office, Richa wouldn’t be alive to say either Hi or Good Bye!

Richa’s death shook every nerve in me. It shattered my whole trust in life and it made me realize for the first time how uncertain life is. Every day I used to read and hear about the violent outbursts happening in some part of the world but I used to chuck it as a mere piece of news. But only when it affected me did I realize how terrorism is playing with people’s lives. It raised a volley of questions in me that have still not been answered. Why did it happen? What purpose did it solve? Who gained out of it? How? Does somebody out there have an answer to it?

The whole incident has taught me just one thing. Life is very precious and it is very uncertain. So cherish every moment of it and cherish all those around you. Thank God for each passing day and what it has brought to you. “Har Pal Yahan Jee Bhar Jiyo Jo Hai Sama Kal Ho Na Ho”.

I cannot sum up this post without the poem written by my ex-colleague and my best friend, Manish Joshi for Richa.

How do we get to see those eyes once again

Thou used to blink in duplicate

How do we get to see that smile

That used to stretch till your eyes

How do we hear that laughter

That u created whenever under pressure

How do we have your presence

Which was so jolly and pleasant

How do we open your eyes

Which were never closed

Cause when world closed them

You chose to keep them open!

We know

We all know

You are there somewhere

In the sky, in the stars

Near god or a new one among us

Creating joy and splendour

Spreading smile and trademark laughter

SomewhereSome where near!

P.S - Hey Manish, sorry for publishing your poem without asking your permission!!! But I hope you will understand.