Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Broader the Smile deeper may be the wound inside

Isn't it a beautiful quotation? yes, this is one of the things I have learnt from Life.

Often People misunderstand cheerful people. Reason being that they are unable to look beneath their cheerful facade. They are unable to understand some people tend to deny or conceal their true feelings beneath a happy face when in fact they may be broken or shattered inside. Just because cheerful people doesn't like to make a hue and cry over the sad events in the life doesnt mean they are always happy.

I like to mention the saddest qoute by the funniest man on earth i.e. Charlie Chaplin. Here goes:-

“I like walking in the rain because that way no one can see my tears”

What do you all think about it? I want to know your comments about the same. Do you agree with me or diagree? But whatever the answer please state the reasons for the same.

Friday, July 25, 2008

Too Comfortable in My Comfort Zone!!!

For the past 2 hours, I have been reading other people’s blogs and I just can't help but wonder how much people have something to say. Be it current affairs, social topics, office life or relationships, it seems everybody is blogging about something and that too at a very fast pace.

And it makes me wonder, “whether I’ll ever be able to match their pace and be one of them”? Guess NO. For I have realized that I don’t have much to talk about in my life. It takes me hours and sometimes days to decide what my next post shall be. And even then, I literally have to scratch my head to gather my thoughts, to be able to write decently well about a topic. Guess my life isn’t too “HAPPENING” to share something all the time.

Being a housewife by choice, my life revolves around my family, my husband, my 7-month old baby, my maids (yes!! Maids!!!they become a major part of your life after one’s marriage!!!) and my computer. In fact, that pretty much explains the choice of topics I have posted so far….

I can easily be one of those females who takes pride in going to kitty parties (phew!!!) and flaunting about their new acquired things (“pata hain, maine sale mein sandal li”…”mere husband ne diamond ring gift kari”) or bitching about their in-laws (“meri mother-in-law aisi”,….”meri sister-in-law waisi”), but guess I am not cut out to be one of them. So, here I am, too contend and too comfortable in my comfort zone leading a “not-so-happening” and nonchalant life. Not minding at all the teasers (courtesy my cousins) like “hi aunts”, “ghar-ghuseru”, “welli” , “tu to poori janani ho gayi hain”, or recent ones like, “tu disc jaake kya karegi, tu apni ghar ghrahasti sambhal”!!!

Hmmm, guess they are right….but I ll figure out the ways to make my life “happening” later…right now I am enjoying these lazy lamhes….

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Blog Kuch Zyada Senti Hain........

Yesterday my sister was reading my blog...her first reaction was, "Tera blog kuch zyada hi senti hain, why don’t you write some practical stuff. This way you won't attract any traffic on your blog"....I just smiled at her comment and told her, “No Problem”.

I write not to attract any readers or to make my blog popular…..I write just to vent out my feelings…. those feelings which I do not normally discuss with my friends or other people…. Very few people know my philosophical side and so I find this blog a way to express myself without the fear of being judged or misjudged…..My blog is all about the things that matter to me…the things that I firmly believe in regardless of the fact I am right or wrong…..if people like it, good enough, they are most welcome to visit it again….if they don’t, even then it is good enough coz this is the way I am….may be silly , may be not….….but whatever it is, this is me….my attitude….good or not….you decide……

Monday, July 21, 2008

Secrets of a Happy Marriage!!!

Marriage is the most important act in our lives. A happy marriage is a source of true happiness as it brings out the best in us. But having a happy marriage doesn't just happen by accident. It takes a lot of commitment, dedication and hard work to help it to grow strong.

You must be wondering is she a relationship expert who is mouthing big words. How old is her marriage? Is hers the ideal one?
Well, I am NOT a relationship expert. In fact my marriage is just two years old to be called an ideal one. But yes, I can proudly say that I have a happy marriage and that I have worked upon it, together with my husband, to call it a happy one. And in this article, I want to share all those tips (only the tried and tested ones!!!) that we follow to keep it going strong. Those personal tips are:

1. Respect your partner – No relationship can ever blossom without ‘Respect’. It is a must for a successful relationship. Somebody truly said, “You can have respect without love,” “but you can’t have love without respect.”

2. Communicate your feelings – Outside influences like -family, friends, relatives, habits etc can affect a marriage. Moreover most Indian men (including mine!!!!) have a tendency to keep things to things to themselves and have trouble expressing their feelings. Hence, expressing your feelings openly becomes an integral part of one's relationship. So, whenever you get the opportunity, Talk……especially when things go wrong.

3. Create rituals and family traditions-Try creating some private rituals - things you do that have a special meaning just to both of you. So whether it's getting your husband tea every morning, saying "I love you" before sleeping, or just greeting each other with a hug!" create your own. Someday, you'll look back on each time as a treasured memory.

4. Do not ignore yourself - Looking good for each other is equally important to hold your partner’s love for you forever.

5. Follow simple Rules - There are some simple rules (Remember the advice that elders gave you at the time of marriage!!) that have worked for couples for many years that still apply today. They include: Never go to bed angry. Greet each other with a smile every time you come home, or before going out. Say "I love you" every single day. Try something new once in a while.

6. Have a life of your own – Do not be dependent upon your partner to make you happy. Find things that you enjoy doing.

7. Give each other some space – No man likes a clingy mate. Leave him alone when he wants to be alone or when he wants to do his work.

8. Do Things together – Go for shopping together. Take a walk after meals. Try and help him in his work in any way you can. Let him share his thoughts and feelings. Become an integral part of his life, merge into it.

9. Never try to dominate your partner – Deflating your partner’s ego may trigger large problems that may be hazardous to your relationship.

10. Tell people good things about your spouse in his/her presence or even when he's/she’s not there - Thank him for getting your medicine or buying you dresses. Thank him for supporting you and thank him when he goes out the way for you. Compliment him in front of your family and friends. Not only will your spouse appreciate the compliment, but will respect you and appreciate you more.

11. Respect each other’s parents and families.

12. Learn to live with each other’s weaknesses and try to remain in tune with each other’s wants, desires, hopes and aspirations

I know the above pointers have been mentioned various times by many writers but I have listed only the ones that have helped me in my marriage. Hope it helps my friends and readers in their life as well.

I would like to conclude my article from the passage of Shobha De’s Book “Spouse: The truth about Marriage”.
“It takes minimum of ten years for two people to actually get to know one another. To intercept the little tricks, idiosyncrasies, quirks and accept. Ten more to understand what it all adds up to. Who the real person you are married to, actually is. What living together for twenty years has taught you- about yourself and your partner. And then, another ten to finally accept your differences and come to terms with the hiccups that might have bothered you earlier. That's when you start to appreciate one another. Enjoy sameness. And overlook the differences. It's a pretty long journey-thirty years. Are you up for it?"

I wish all a truly happy marriage!

Friday, July 11, 2008

Time Changes Everything

"Time changes everything except something within us which is always surprised by change"- Thomas Hardy

I have learnt this by LIFE itself.

Yesterday I ran into an old friend. Once we were the best of friends. Today we are just strangers or to say....acquaintance. You may say SO? BIG DEAL? It happens. It happens many times.

Yes, I know that. I know it happens. But don't you think it’s strange? Two people who once share a great camaraderie become strangers after a while? Two people who once were inseparable later lead separate lives? Isn’t it ironical? And more importantly isn't it sad? Yes, it is. Indeed it is sad. But who is the culprit? Who takes the blame? People or feelings? Situations or something else?

The answer is TIME. Time is the culprit. Time changes everything. Though people may remain the same, places may remain the same, habits may also remain the same but TIME changes. And with it situations change. Feelings change. Priorities change.

You may have heard this before as I am not the first person who is saying it. But I am writing this because now I have experienced it, and understood its true meaning. Hmmm Life never fails to surprise you. It throws you a curveball when you least expect it. But then, this is also the BEAUTY OF LIFE.

Friday, July 4, 2008

The Mysterious thing called "LOVE"....

If you find yourself in love with someone who does not love you, be gentle with yourself. There is nothing wrong with you. Love just didn't choose to rest in the other person's heart.

If you find someone else in love with you and you don't love him/her, feel honored that love came and called at your door, but gently refuse the gift you cannot return, do not take advantage, do not cause pain.

How you deal with love is how you deal with you, and all our hearts feel the same pains and joys, even if our lives and ways are different.

If you fall in love with another, and he/she falls in love with you, and then love chooses to leave, do not try to reclaim it or to assess blame, let it go. There is a reason and there is a meaning. You will know in time.

Remember that you don't choose love. Love chooses you. All you can really do is accept it for all its mystery when it comes into your life. Feel the way it fills you to overflowing, then reach out and give it away.

Give it back to the person who brought it alive in you. Give it to others who deem it poor in spirit. Give it to the world around you in anyway you can. There is where many lovers go wrong. Having been so long without love, they understand love only as a need. They see their hearts as empty places that will be filled by love, and they begin to look at love as something that flows to them rather than from them.

The first blush of new love is filled to overflowing, but as their love cools, they revert to seeing their love as need. They cease to be someone who generates love and instead become someone who seeks love.

They forget that the secret of love is that it is a gift, and that it can be made to grow only by giving it away.

Remember this, and keep it to your heart. Love has its own time, its own seasons, and its own reason for coming and going.. You cannot bribe it or coerce it, or reason it into saying. You can only embrace it when it arrives and give it away when it comes to you. But if it chooses to leave from your heart or from the heart of your lover, there is nothing you can do and there is nothing you should do.

Love always has been and always will be a mystery. Be glad that it came to live for a moment in your life!

Lets Understand Love

How often we mistake some other feeling for love and forbid ourselves from experiencing its true meaning. and how often love touches our life in some way and we are unable to acknowledge it. So, lets understand love for once and for all and allow it to enlighten our lives in every way it can.

If you love some one because you think that he or she is really gorgeous...then it's not love ..it's Infatuation

If you love some one because you think that you shouldn't leave him because others think that you shouldn't ....then it's not love......it's Compromise

If you love some one because you think that you cannot live with out his touch .... then it's not love .... it's Lust

If you love some one because you cannot leave him thinking that it would hurt his feelings...then it's not love ...it's Charity

If you love some one because you share every thing with him ...then it's not love...

But if you feel the PAIN of the other person more than him even when he is stable and you cry for him ... that's LOVE

If you get ATTRACTED to other people but stay with him without any regrets... that's LOVE

If you let him GO knowing that he has to but he doesn't want to ... that's LOVE