Secrets of a Happy Marriage!!!

Marriage is the most important act in our lives. A happy marriage is a source of true happiness as it brings out the best in us. But having a happy marriage doesn't just happen by accident. It takes a lot of commitment, dedication and hard work to help it to grow strong.

You must be wondering is she a relationship expert who is mouthing big words. How old is her marriage? Is hers the ideal one?
Well, I am NOT a relationship expert. In fact my marriage is just two years old to be called an ideal one. But yes, I can proudly say that I have a happy marriage and that I have worked upon it, together with my husband, to call it a happy one. And in this article, I want to share all those tips (only the tried and tested ones!!!) that we follow to keep it going strong. Those personal tips are:

1. Respect your partner – No relationship can ever blossom without ‘Respect’. It is a must for a successful relationship. Somebody truly said, “You can have respect without love,” “but you can’t have love without respect.”

2. Communicate your feelings – Outside influences like -family, friends, relatives, habits etc can affect a marriage. Moreover most Indian men (including mine!!!!) have a tendency to keep things to things to themselves and have trouble expressing their feelings. Hence, expressing your feelings openly becomes an integral part of one's relationship. So, whenever you get the opportunity, Talk……especially when things go wrong.

3. Create rituals and family traditions-Try creating some private rituals - things you do that have a special meaning just to both of you. So whether it's getting your husband tea every morning, saying "I love you" before sleeping, or just greeting each other with a hug!" create your own. Someday, you'll look back on each time as a treasured memory.

4. Do not ignore yourself - Looking good for each other is equally important to hold your partner’s love for you forever.

5. Follow simple Rules - There are some simple rules (Remember the advice that elders gave you at the time of marriage!!) that have worked for couples for many years that still apply today. They include: Never go to bed angry. Greet each other with a smile every time you come home, or before going out. Say "I love you" every single day. Try something new once in a while.

6. Have a life of your own – Do not be dependent upon your partner to make you happy. Find things that you enjoy doing.

7. Give each other some space – No man likes a clingy mate. Leave him alone when he wants to be alone or when he wants to do his work.

8. Do Things together – Go for shopping together. Take a walk after meals. Try and help him in his work in any way you can. Let him share his thoughts and feelings. Become an integral part of his life, merge into it.

9. Never try to dominate your partner – Deflating your partner’s ego may trigger large problems that may be hazardous to your relationship.

10. Tell people good things about your spouse in his/her presence or even when he's/she’s not there - Thank him for getting your medicine or buying you dresses. Thank him for supporting you and thank him when he goes out the way for you. Compliment him in front of your family and friends. Not only will your spouse appreciate the compliment, but will respect you and appreciate you more.

11. Respect each other’s parents and families.

12. Learn to live with each other’s weaknesses and try to remain in tune with each other’s wants, desires, hopes and aspirations

I know the above pointers have been mentioned various times by many writers but I have listed only the ones that have helped me in my marriage. Hope it helps my friends and readers in their life as well.

I would like to conclude my article from the passage of Shobha De’s Book “Spouse: The truth about Marriage”.
“It takes minimum of ten years for two people to actually get to know one another. To intercept the little tricks, idiosyncrasies, quirks and accept. Ten more to understand what it all adds up to. Who the real person you are married to, actually is. What living together for twenty years has taught you- about yourself and your partner. And then, another ten to finally accept your differences and come to terms with the hiccups that might have bothered you earlier. That's when you start to appreciate one another. Enjoy sameness. And overlook the differences. It's a pretty long journey-thirty years. Are you up for it?"

I wish all a truly happy marriage!