Someone hurts you real badly and then goes away (actually disappears) from your life.....It takes months for you to forget that hurt and that person......But finally you move on......Now you are happy in your life.....
After years the same person re-contacts you, as if nothing ever happened between both of you....And suddenly you are thrown back in your past with all those memories you long chose to forget.....
What do you do? or rather, What should you do?
a). Should you strike back after all those years?
b). Should you ignore him/her completely and be silent about it?
c). Should you forgive him/her and pretend it never affected you?
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17 comments:
Honestly speakin Parul, i would have an urge to do all 3 things -- hit back strongly on one hand just cos i had been affected hugely. 2nd i would also try to ignore the person and also i would try to forgive.....
tough to make a choice but i feel it would be best to ignore the existence n presence.....
Frankly Parul....
You're true we are hurt badly and we want to hurt that person back with full force.. all the strength that we can... But it is a matter of the perspective of individuals that matters.. In my case.. i did come across such situations but then on a later stage... i dint find the revenge takin attitude in me but yes you cant get close to that person and it preferably is to such keep a formal contact..thats it! Let the other person feel good... If do the same what he/she did to us...Then what is difference between them and us? Right..?
Why did you ask this..? You came across such a situation recently or something.?
thnks for visiting, you have a nice blog here, well this post clicks me so much, faced the exact same case before.
I tried ignoring, it backfired.
I tried forgiving, still trying, m succeeding but it affects you somewhere although you could try and do things that take you away from that person.
has happened to me too...HUGS!
r u over that person or r u still hurt? I guess if ur happy now, just forgive him/her and smile...leave the hurt...
Keshi.
@ aqua gurl...
thnks for liking my blog....
If u ask me i wud choose the 2nd option. I hate it when ppl who hav hurt u reappear out of the blue and behave as if nothin had happened in the first place! It may hav been easy for them to forget it but not me. I dont forgive ppl so easily especially those who show remorse of their act.
Parul,
I can understand your feelings. There is no need to ignore or forgive or give back. All you need is courage and tell that person " Kindly let past be past and let us not spoil each other's life as in present. I do not wish to connect to you anymore so be a nice person and stay away. Thanks". If that person still persists then you need to get help from someone whom you can confide in - husband should be the first choice but if not then someone with whom you can share your fears and take advice & help.
Take care
@ nice guy
thanks for ur concern...but this isn't my personal situation...not for once i had mentioned it had happened with me....though i knw somebody who's in the similar kind of situation but that too the situation is quite controllable one that can be handled alone...
thanks anyways...
cheers
parul
that has actually happened with me & i have ignored that person & remained silent about it
If you have forgiven the person there would be no need to pretend. You will forget....
He he he ... its funny ... I will twist the scenario a bit and you let me know the answer to What should be done .. ;)
You are in a healthy relationship for a long time and then tragedy befalls and you are separated ... Neither are at fault and over time both move on and then they bump in ... whats best then ????
Remember both were distraught at the end of the relationship and oth were not at fault ..
Anyways why tis .. is that I feel that to talk to the person ia a more effective as well as subtle way to make him realise that he doesnt matter anymore to you .. so I wud do that .. keep a smile and talk and let him realise that he is just another person now ..
i stand by the 2nd choice...ignore the bad things and remember the gud days...
Very valid questions...sumtin thtz been makin my head spin for a long time now. I will read these comments to get my share of answer. maybe that wud help some bit.
Not answern cuz am myself clueless what the rite decision shud be.
@ descrying the shadows...
hey of all, i liked ur ans the best...very mature n thoughtful approach....though it may or may not apply to every situation like this considering the reasons of the separation...nonetheless it seems like a valid approach as to talk it out rather than ignoring the issue....
cheers
parul
thanks
and No ! I do not copy ideas and name them my own .....
I am sorry but i am touchy about my writings ..
lets just say....'let bygones be bygones'....i kno its easier said than done....but that is the only thing that works....forgive and move on.....
@ pj
guess u r right.....
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