Back in Blogsville!!!!

Hi Friends,

How are you all?

I know you all must be wondering where the hell did I disappear and why was I missing in action for so long.

Well, well...the reason was life got extremely hectic and I got completely immersed in it. I know you all must be curious to know what's happening in my life since we have been out of touch for so long and trust me, the feeling is mutual here.

Well, there has been so many developments in my life that I am dying to share it with you all. First of all, my son Aarush (I hope you all still remember him!!!) has crossed his first landmark and has become one year old toddler now. As expected, he has become more naughty now and more responsive.

Secondly, my life has suddenly taken a turning point. I have started my own business (yes!!! you heard it correct!) of Homemade Chocolates and I am proud owner of my company, Kocoa Krunch. So, I make chocolates, I package them and I supply them. Hmmmm, now thats called real development, isn't it?

Phew!!! So guys now you know, why I was missing in action. Actually, in real life I was too much in action (ha ha).

I can't even tell you all how difficult-yet-satisfying it was to make this transition. But I feel so proud that I was finally able to do it and the credit goes entirely to my very supportive hubby. I feel so much more renewed and enthusiastic now coz my life has suddenly gained a purpose which was missing few months back. Trust me, I am a completely changed person now.

I know I have a lot to catch up with you guys but I am sure you will accept me back with the same love and affection that you provided me earlier. And yes, don't forget to wish me luck for my new business. I need it guys.

Missed you all so much!!!!!!!!!

Lots of Love

Parul

Adieu for a while!!!

Hi Friends,

I know you all must be wondering where the hell Parul is and why has she been missing from action for so long. Well the reason is my laptop had developed some serious problem (don't know the exact thing but guess the whole operating system got corrupted) and had gone for repair(still not back!!!)....So, with Aarush in tow and laptop missing it became almost impossible for me to log on to the net let alone blog here :-(

Life is increasingly becoming very hectic for me. Aarush has become very cranky and very demanding (especially since he has come back from nani's house, guess he has become very insecure now) and guess motherly duties are slowly taking over the individual preferences. Blogging seems more like a luxury now that I am finding hard to afford and going by this rate it seems I would have to leave blogsville soon. Its sad and I don't want to do it but I know its coming. Though I would never leave blogville completely but then blogging would soon become more of monthly affair than a daily one.......par kya kare.....this is life...Change is the only Constant thing in Life.....

But its ok....I have no regrets and I am really happy because I have got more love and more acceptance than I ever anticipated here. I made some very good friends here, say Buzz, Comfortably Numb, Keshi, Ria, Solitaire, Niceguy, Abhishek, Aphrodite, Mia and I am thankful to every one who visited my blog and liked it. I hope my friends would continue to keep in touch with me even outside blogsville. In fact, anyone who is interested in keeping in touch with me outside blogsville can contact me at my gmail or orkut Id i.e. parul206.

well thats that for now,

Cheers
Parul

Height of Manipulations!!!!

Since Yesterday I am FUMING!!!

Yesterday I came to know that one of my past friends, say friend X (who is thankfully not my friend anymore!!!) had been chatting with me using the name of some other friend, say friend Y, (with whom I had very little contact) for past 3 months!!!

Isn’t it DISGUSTING???

Actually what happened was, yesterday after my chat with Y, (who was actually X), I happened to call the real person Y (whom I usually don’t call) and I was completely taken aback to know that she was completely unaware about the chat. After telling her the complete story, she told me it could only be X since she is the only person who knows personal details about all three of us.

I was SHOCKED. So was Y. Whole night I kept asking myself how could X do such a thing after all those years we had been friends. But I couldn’t get any answers.

So, through this post I want to ask all the people out there to tell me why some people indulge in such activities and what do they gain out of it. If X is reading it by any chance, then I want to ask her or anyone who can answer on her behalf:-

1. When we aren’t friends anymore, then why the hell did you go around posing yourself as someone else just to dig some secrets out of my nose?
2. What the f*** did you get out of it?
3. Why the hell did you stoop so low and erase even the tiny bit of respect left in my heart for you?
4. What did you get by unnecessary dragging Y’s name in between who is totally innocent and completely unaware of all the chats happening in her name?

I am so angry right now, I can’t even tell you all. I mean this is the height of manipulations. And above all, IT HURTS.

Even I was affected by our broken frienship, but I don’t intrude in her privacy or her every day affairs. Just because I chose to part ways gracefully, does she had to attack me in this way. May be she did manage to extract the things out of me that I would never otherwise share with her, but can it mend the breaks in our friendship ever?

GROW UP DEAR!!! Grow up!! Grow up all those people who still cling to their past like the sand in their hand. Remember sand drifts away even if you close your fist tight. Sometimes you just have to let go of your past and accept it as a way of life. Otherwise you just end up making a fool of yourself and nothing else.

Back With a Bang!!!

Hi Guys,

I am back....back in good health and back with my honey chum....hmmm i know i took a long break but guess I kinda needed it to refreshed myself:-)

I know I promised everyone that I'll write a post about my reunion...but now when I am actually trying to write about it down, I am unable to express myself...may be its because that moment was too personal and too emotional to jot it down....hope you all would understand....

Nonetheless, I want to put the past behind me and move forward....let bygones be bygones.

Chalo, yeh to hui meri baat....now I wanna know what my other blogmates were upto this whole last week.... let me know if anything nice (or even not-so-nice) happened with you all...

Loads of Love

Parul

P.S - Guys, I am yet to read all your latest posts but I promise I'll soon catch up with you all....

the 3 Mistakes of My Life

Hi friends,

As promised here is my review on the 3 mistakes of life.

To start with, the 3 Mistakes of life is a typical Chetan Bhagat’s book with lots of masala, and unexpected twists and turns. As Buzzz and Comfortably Numb rightly said, it’s like a typical Bollywood movie - entertaining but devoid of logic or reasoning!!!

It is a book filled with a lot of clichés- and a lot of similarities with “

Five Point Someone”. Three young friends, their tryst with destiny, their ups and downs, the dark humor, and the screw ups.

Now as for the good and bad points of the book, I’ll first start with the good points.

Firstly, the starting is very dramatic and very interesting. You just have-to read after reading the prologue. Secondly, like any other Chetan’s books, it contains lot of Hinglish lingo which is fun to read and something that we can relate to easily. Thirdly, his characters are young, ambitious and passionate and have the same moral, social and religious dilemmas as many of the young Indians today. At the same time their context and sensibility is unabashedly Indian.

Now coming on to the bad points or not-so-good points of the book.

Firstly, the story that develops beautifully in the first half, slags a bit in the latter half. Secondly, the 'Ali & their going to Australia' angle is pretty cheeky! Thirdly, the end is very melodramatic with half the people dying like a typical RGV movie. Moreover, I feel the '3 mistakes' were not really mistakes because ultimately Life is not an exam with any right and wrong answers!

But overall an interesting read. Chetan has again proved his writing skills beyond imagination though ‘Five Point Someone’ still remains his Best book. One night @ call centre was good and so is the 3 mistakes of my life.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

P.S – I want to make two announcements.

1. I want to officially thank Keshi for being so sweet as to awarding me with 'Brilliant Weblog Award' that I feel I just don't deserve and that it is just a very sweet gesture on her part for which I am humbly honoured.

so, Thank you Keshi!!!! I really appreciate that......Muaahhhhhhhhh!!!!!

(Sorry, for pulishing your image without asking, hope you won't mind as this was my favourite pic of all ur pics)

2. I am taking a blog break for 3-4 days because I am going to bring my baby back today. So obviously I am pretty excited and want to spend the maximum time with him so as to compensate for the time lost. But I promise my next article sure would be on that only….

Till then, Don’t Miss Me Guys!!!!

Lots of Love……..
Parul

No Guys, It’s Not Me!!!

Well, ever since I published my last post, I am flooded with concerned e-mails and notes from my friends and well-wishers to enquire if I am facing the mentioned situation. So, let me clear it once and for all, It’s Not Me!!!

I am too busy nursing my infection and missing my baby. But I must admit the sudden concern and attention is flattering!!! I didn’t know I have made such caring friends at blogville! Cool hain Yaar!!! Thanks for that….

Anyways, the question came to my mind when I was chatting with an old friend (now married) who happened to bumped into her ex who had hurt him once and then moved on in his life. She ignored him and wanted to know from me if she did the right thing. That inspired me to write the post. But anyways, it was quite nice to know about people’s opinion in such a situation that is pretty common these days.

Coming on to me, my infection is a lot better than before. I am healing at a fast pace thanks to the wishes of all my friends and family members and I am hoping to re-unite with my baby somewhere in the next week. I have finished reading 3 mistakes of my life (review in the next post) and am feeling very relaxed now.

So, cheers to that!!!

Love to all my friends and well-wishers!
Parul

An Unusual Situation!!!

Someone hurts you real badly and then goes away (actually disappears) from your life.....It takes months for you to forget that hurt and that person......But finally you move on......Now you are happy in your life.....

After years the same person re-contacts you, as if nothing ever happened between both of you....And suddenly you are thrown back in your past with all those memories you long chose to forget.....

What do you do? or rather, What should you do?

a). Should you strike back after all those years?

b). Should you ignore him/her completely and be silent about it?

c). Should you forgive him/her and pretend it never affected you?

Its Infectious!!!!

Hi Guys,

Thank you all for liking my 'Realization' posts. The response is indeed very humbling and very encouraging. I am glad everyone has been able to connect with it. Though I am not yet over with the Realization series, but I am taking a little break from it today, for a change. I’ll keep adding more posts to the series in future. Today I just felt like blogging my heart out.

Well, the breaking news is, I have caught a viral infection (not naming it) that is pretty infectious (and damn painful aaahhhhh!!!)that takes at least 10-15 days to heal. As a result of which my dermatologist has advised me to keep Aarush (my 8 months old baby, if someone s reading for the first time) away for few days if possible, lest he catches the infection too. So I have left him with his Nani (my mother) till the time I am perfectly normal again.

Needless to say I am very upset, first because of the excruciating pain, and second and most important, because of Aarush’s absence. I am missing my baby just soooooooooo much. It’s only been one day he is away from me and I am already feeling he is away since ages. Though he is just a phone call away from me, but not seeing my baby is far more hurting than the pain itself. Hmmm, the day is looking so very dull and long. I am feeling as if I have nothing to do (those having a child knows how much time and attention a baby demands!!!). And unfortunately I can’t do anything about it.

But optimistic as I am, I have consoled myself that it is for his good that he is away and that he is in the safe hands. As far as my good is concerned, as long as Aarush is ok, even I am pretty ok with the infection thing. Though its painful, but theek hain yaar. It’s all a matter of few days. Yeh sab to chalta hi rehta hain.

So, being completely welli now, I am just wondering if there is any love more selfless than a mother’s love. Does selfless love truly exists in a romantic relationship? Or we just pretend it to be there? At least I feel that in a relationship, there is always some amount of selfishness involved/present between the partners and that no love can be more selfless than a mother’s love? What is your opinion on it and why?

Cheers
Parul

Realization #3

yes, this is my third realization....but unlike other posts, i dont have much to say in this post.....this image has said it all for me.............
if u have any words of wisdon for me, do lemme know.......

Love,
Parul...

Realization #2

Sometimes people dislike you for no apparent reason.

It is rightly said, You Can't Please Everyone

When I was a teenager, I was very naïve and innocent. I wanted to please everybody around me and be Ms Goody-Goody. I believed in the phrase, "Do unto others as you would have others do unto you", and so I assumed if I like other people and be nice to them, they would do the same.

But slowly as I started dealing with outside world, I started realizing that however much you do for others, there will still be few who’ll dislike you, bitch about you and would be unhappy with you, sometimes for a reason, and sometimes without any obvious reason. People who don’t even know an inch about you or your life will have all sorts of notions about you that will be anything but true. And sadly instead of being guilty about it, they’ll be pretty content in their sweet ignorance bliss.

Initially all these used to affect me a lot and hurt me real bad. I used to spent sleepless nights over the issue and even shed tears on the irony of human behavior. But now, after all these years the realization has finally dawned upon me and I have swallowed the bitter pill that it is impossible to please everyone.

“Please all, and you will please none.”

So, if today I find out that Mr X doesn’t think highly of me or Ms Y has some wrong notions about me, it hardly matters to me. I have accepted to take these things in my stride and move on without raising a hue or cry over it.

Realization #1

One major lesson that I have learnt from my life so far is that “Everything happens for a reason and ultimately for the Good”.

When I was young, every time something ‘bad’ (which by my definition means things didn’t happen the way I wanted them to happen) happened to me, my mother consoled me by saying that it happened for my good and that I’ll realize it sometime later in life. But I never actually got comforted by it. Instead I used to go on fretting and whining about the problem, contemplating the WHY ME questions.

But as years passed by and I relooked at my life events from a fresh perspective, I realized that my mother’s words were indeed true. It took me a long time, but eventually I could see that even in the worst situations there were wonderful gifts, hidden opportunities, or life-enhancing lessons. And that we couldn't have got them any other way. If it were not for those situations I wouldn’t have been the person I am today.

People come and go in our lives. Their entry or exit is destined, to serve some sort of purpose, probably teach a lesson or help figure out who you are or who you want to become. Sometimes they do certain things that may seem horrible, painful and unfair to you at that time, but in reflection you realize that without overcoming those obstacles you wouldn’t have realized your potential, strength, will power or heart. The good that comes out of the bad things help you become your best and the most authentic self.

Remember, problems will always be a part of life. There’ll be times when you wouldn’t be able to find meaning in your life events (After all, the events in our lives doesn't come with labels attached to them telling us what they mean!!!) and you’d have no one to answer your questions. But at all such times don’t let your emotions cloud your vision. Just remember, God works in mysterious ways, and as long as you walk with Him, and just trust and believe, soon you’ll get to that place where you’ll see everything clearly, and you’ll finally begin to understand. Everything happens for a reason. You may not understand the reason now, but you will when the time is right.

Realizations

Friends,

As we move along the journey called Life, we unknowingly gain innumerous illuminating experiences and realizations that enlighten us emotionally, physically and spiritually.

My next few posts will be dedicated towards few such experiences and realizations that I have gained from my life so far.

But before I mention some of my realizations/experiences I wanna ask All YOU wonderful people out there to share such enriching experiences or realizations with me and everybody else that would give us an insight about your life. I request you all to take few moments to sit back, relax, close your eyes, and think what all you have learnt from this life so far and share it with us.

Lots of Love
Parul

Singh is not the King

Yesterday my Husband and I went to watch a movie, Singh Is king, after almost a year (actually it is impossible to watch a movie with a small kid in tow). We were expectecting a lot from the movie because of the hype but we were very disappointed. It turned out to be a very silly movie. It did not have anything much to offer except some lame punches that managed to bring few smiles once in a while. Apart from that it was a total no brainer. The movie totally belonged to the one and only, Akshay Kumar, whose comic timing was as good as ever. Katrina Kaif was also quite watchable.

My verdict- The movie is a typical Akshay Kumar mindless entertainer which has a great first half, beautifully picturised songs and a gorgeous Katrina Kaif. Go there without your brains and without any expectations coz only then it will manage to tickle your funny bone.

Wanna Booze?

These days the song “Main talli ho gayi” from the film ‘Ugly aur Pagli’ is gaining a lot of popularity. And it makes me wonder why alcohol (or the so-called “Drinks”) intake has become the coolest and the most “In” thing today? Why boozing has become the so-called ‘social norm'? Since childhood I have felt very strongly about drinking. Blame it on my conservative upbringing or my narrow-minded views (as may seem to u), but I have never found a reason convincing enough to approve alcohol or its habit. I cannot take it or approve of it just to be ‘hip and happening’. Now if that makes me backward then I am proud to be one.

Every day I read and hear about the crimes happening under the spell of alcohol, be it drunken drivers killing innocent lives, heinous acts with women, verbal duels or violence. I have often seen people overdrinking or “getting Full-Talli” and later making a complete fool out of themselves only to other’s embarrassment. Not only this, violent wives being abused by sloshed husbands has become an everyday ritual for numerous households all over.

Aren’t these reasons strong enough to abstain from it? And if that’s not enough then there is research that shows regular drinking could lead to permanent depression. So when alcohol paralyzes one’s rationality, sobriety and senses then why do people still indulge in it? Why do people lose their self-control in front of this charmer? Why can’t people realize that alcohol enters in their system like a devil coming in sheep skin?

Sadly alcohol has assumed ubiquity for all occasions, emotions and society today. Be it club, lounges or bar one finds alcohol as the primary characteristic there. Everyone seems to have become kinda dependent upon it. Be it to shake a leg or to converse with a friend or to feel alive or for some other reason, people first need a drink. Go to a disco and you’ll find young guys and girls dancing to deafening music, looking for relaxation in the darkness, under those neon lights gulping peg after peg even if they have to settle for hangovers instead of sleep later. Everybody feels that it will make them forget all pain and problems. But they fail to understand that it does not solve the problem. It just temporarily blinds them to it. And in their illusion of liberation, they even lose their precious time on hangovers instead of concentrating on the issue at hand.

Let us assume for a sec we know all the reasons why people booze. Now let me ask something? The same reasons apply to non drinkers also then what is it that stops them from taking it up? Or is it just the matter of strong will and determination? Ask Yourself Guys what is your reason to take it? The ones mentioned above or something else? Or maybe you don’t know? Have never asked yourself yet? Are you doing it merely because everybody else is doing it? Don’t answer me. Answer your conscience. I know you will not admit it because you need a reason to continue doing it.

I know I am going to invite a lot of people’s wrath but for once Think Guys. Why are you adding to life’s brevity and uncertainty by surrendering to alcohol? Lounging, clubbing, drinking… none is wrong. The fallacy is in your dependency on it. Don’t create a fake world to celebrate life or to handle the blows of the real world. When you start wrong, how can the end be right? Alcohol is neither a taboo nor poison. But it does not take long for its magic to turn into sorcery. Life is just so beautiful and so magical to waste it for surreal things.

But whatever be your take on it let me know what do you have to say about it? Who knows you become the first person on this earth to convince me about it? What say?

Thank You EveryOne!!!

Thank you guys for your overwhelming response on my post "Remembering Richa". Thank you all for understanding my feelings and empathizing what we all must have gone through while dealing with it. I had always hesitated talking about that incident and preferred remaining silent on my version of the tragedy. But through this space I have been able to lift a burden off my chest by venting out old bottled up sentiments.
I can thus move on in life, leaving my past behind and learning from the harsh realities of life thereby cherishing the value of life and the value of those present in my life a little more than before....
May God Bless you All...

Remembering Richa...

The recent bomb blasts in Bangalore and Ahmedabad have brought alive the memories of my ex-colleague (I was working before marriage!!!), Richa Pandey, whom we had lost in the ill-fated Sarojini Nagar Blasts on 29 October 2005.

Richa was in Sarojini Nagar only when the whole incident took place. She had gone there (alone) for some Diwali shopping for her mother and sister (Richa lost her father long time back and she was the only earning member of her family). Who knew that she had gone there NEVER to come back. Only God knows what exactly happened with her at that time. For two days her body couldn't be found and no one, be it her family or friends (that includes her room-mates and colleagues) had any clue about her whereabouts (Richa lived as a paying guest in Delhi, her family lived in some state in UP). Needless to say hell broke on her family when they did find her burnt body.

Her tragic death continues to affect me even after 3 long years. I still remember Richa so well. In fact it seems like just yesterday. That very day I had met Richa in the morning in the office. I left the office in afternoon in a hurry (actually it was Saturday, half-day and I had to catch a movie) without saying bye to her (that time she wasn’t on seat) as I usually did then (she sat right opposite my seat). Little did I know that the next time I would reach my office, Richa wouldn’t be alive to say either Hi or Good Bye!

Richa’s death shook every nerve in me. It shattered my whole trust in life and it made me realize for the first time how uncertain life is. Every day I used to read and hear about the violent outbursts happening in some part of the world but I used to chuck it as a mere piece of news. But only when it affected me did I realize how terrorism is playing with people’s lives. It raised a volley of questions in me that have still not been answered. Why did it happen? What purpose did it solve? Who gained out of it? How? Does somebody out there have an answer to it?

The whole incident has taught me just one thing. Life is very precious and it is very uncertain. So cherish every moment of it and cherish all those around you. Thank God for each passing day and what it has brought to you. “Har Pal Yahan Jee Bhar Jiyo Jo Hai Sama Kal Ho Na Ho”.

I cannot sum up this post without the poem written by my ex-colleague and my best friend, Manish Joshi for Richa.

How do we get to see those eyes once again

Thou used to blink in duplicate

How do we get to see that smile

That used to stretch till your eyes

How do we hear that laughter

That u created whenever under pressure

How do we have your presence

Which was so jolly and pleasant

How do we open your eyes

Which were never closed

Cause when world closed them

You chose to keep them open!

We know

We all know

You are there somewhere

In the sky, in the stars

Near god or a new one among us

Creating joy and splendour

Spreading smile and trademark laughter

SomewhereSome where near!

P.S - Hey Manish, sorry for publishing your poem without asking your permission!!! But I hope you will understand.

Broader the Smile deeper may be the wound inside

Isn't it a beautiful quotation? yes, this is one of the things I have learnt from Life.


Often People misunderstand cheerful people. Reason being that they are unable to look beneath their cheerful facade. They are unable to understand some people tend to deny or conceal their true feelings beneath a happy face when in fact they may be broken or shattered inside. Just because cheerful people doesn't like to make a hue and cry over the sad events in the life doesnt mean they are always happy.

I like to mention the saddest qoute by the funniest man on earth i.e. Charlie Chaplin. Here goes:-

“I like walking in the rain because that way no one can see my tears”

What do you all think about it? I want to know your comments about the same. Do you agree with me or diagree? But whatever the answer please state the reasons for the same.

Too Comfortable in My Comfort Zone!!!

For the past 2 hours, I have been reading other people’s blogs and I just can't help but wonder how much people have something to say. Be it current affairs, social topics, office life or relationships, it seems everybody is blogging about something and that too at a very fast pace.

And it makes me wonder, “whether I’ll ever be able to match their pace and be one of them”? Guess NO. For I have realized that I don’t have much to talk about in my life. It takes me hours and sometimes days to decide what my next post shall be. And even then, I literally have to scratch my head to gather my thoughts, to be able to write decently well about a topic. Guess my life isn’t too “HAPPENING” to share something all the time.

Being a housewife by choice, my life revolves around my family, my husband, my 7-month old baby, my maids (yes!! Maids!!!they become a major part of your life after one’s marriage!!!) and my computer. In fact, that pretty much explains the choice of topics I have posted so far….

I can easily be one of those females who takes pride in going to kitty parties (phew!!!) and flaunting about their new acquired things (“pata hain, maine sale mein sandal li”…”mere husband ne diamond ring gift kari”) or bitching about their in-laws (“meri mother-in-law aisi”,….”meri sister-in-law waisi”), but guess I am not cut out to be one of them. So, here I am, too contend and too comfortable in my comfort zone leading a “not-so-happening” and nonchalant life. Not minding at all the teasers (courtesy my cousins) like “hi aunts”, “ghar-ghuseru”, “welli” , “tu to poori janani ho gayi hain”, or recent ones like, “tu disc jaake kya karegi, tu apni ghar ghrahasti sambhal”!!!

Hmmm, guess they are right….but I ll figure out the ways to make my life “happening” later…right now I am enjoying these lazy lamhes….

Blog Kuch Zyada Senti Hain........

Yesterday my sister was reading my blog...her first reaction was, "Tera blog kuch zyada hi senti hain, why don’t you write some practical stuff. This way you won't attract any traffic on your blog"....I just smiled at her comment and told her, “No Problem”.

I write not to attract any readers or to make my blog popular…..I write just to vent out my feelings…. those feelings which I do not normally discuss with my friends or other people…. Very few people know my philosophical side and so I find this blog a way to express myself without the fear of being judged or misjudged…..My blog is all about the things that matter to me…the things that I firmly believe in regardless of the fact I am right or wrong…..if people like it, good enough, they are most welcome to visit it again….if they don’t, even then it is good enough coz this is the way I am….may be silly , may be not….….but whatever it is, this is me….my attitude….good or not….you decide……

Secrets of a Happy Marriage!!!

Marriage is the most important act in our lives. A happy marriage is a source of true happiness as it brings out the best in us. But having a happy marriage doesn't just happen by accident. It takes a lot of commitment, dedication and hard work to help it to grow strong.

You must be wondering is she a relationship expert who is mouthing big words. How old is her marriage? Is hers the ideal one?
Well, I am NOT a relationship expert. In fact my marriage is just two years old to be called an ideal one. But yes, I can proudly say that I have a happy marriage and that I have worked upon it, together with my husband, to call it a happy one. And in this article, I want to share all those tips (only the tried and tested ones!!!) that we follow to keep it going strong. Those personal tips are:

1. Respect your partner – No relationship can ever blossom without ‘Respect’. It is a must for a successful relationship. Somebody truly said, “You can have respect without love,” “but you can’t have love without respect.”

2. Communicate your feelings – Outside influences like -family, friends, relatives, habits etc can affect a marriage. Moreover most Indian men (including mine!!!!) have a tendency to keep things to things to themselves and have trouble expressing their feelings. Hence, expressing your feelings openly becomes an integral part of one's relationship. So, whenever you get the opportunity, Talk……especially when things go wrong.

3. Create rituals and family traditions-Try creating some private rituals - things you do that have a special meaning just to both of you. So whether it's getting your husband tea every morning, saying "I love you" before sleeping, or just greeting each other with a hug!" create your own. Someday, you'll look back on each time as a treasured memory.

4. Do not ignore yourself - Looking good for each other is equally important to hold your partner’s love for you forever.

5. Follow simple Rules - There are some simple rules (Remember the advice that elders gave you at the time of marriage!!) that have worked for couples for many years that still apply today. They include: Never go to bed angry. Greet each other with a smile every time you come home, or before going out. Say "I love you" every single day. Try something new once in a while.

6. Have a life of your own – Do not be dependent upon your partner to make you happy. Find things that you enjoy doing.

7. Give each other some space – No man likes a clingy mate. Leave him alone when he wants to be alone or when he wants to do his work.

8. Do Things together – Go for shopping together. Take a walk after meals. Try and help him in his work in any way you can. Let him share his thoughts and feelings. Become an integral part of his life, merge into it.

9. Never try to dominate your partner – Deflating your partner’s ego may trigger large problems that may be hazardous to your relationship.

10. Tell people good things about your spouse in his/her presence or even when he's/she’s not there - Thank him for getting your medicine or buying you dresses. Thank him for supporting you and thank him when he goes out the way for you. Compliment him in front of your family and friends. Not only will your spouse appreciate the compliment, but will respect you and appreciate you more.

11. Respect each other’s parents and families.

12. Learn to live with each other’s weaknesses and try to remain in tune with each other’s wants, desires, hopes and aspirations

I know the above pointers have been mentioned various times by many writers but I have listed only the ones that have helped me in my marriage. Hope it helps my friends and readers in their life as well.

I would like to conclude my article from the passage of Shobha De’s Book “Spouse: The truth about Marriage”.
“It takes minimum of ten years for two people to actually get to know one another. To intercept the little tricks, idiosyncrasies, quirks and accept. Ten more to understand what it all adds up to. Who the real person you are married to, actually is. What living together for twenty years has taught you- about yourself and your partner. And then, another ten to finally accept your differences and come to terms with the hiccups that might have bothered you earlier. That's when you start to appreciate one another. Enjoy sameness. And overlook the differences. It's a pretty long journey-thirty years. Are you up for it?"

I wish all a truly happy marriage!

Time Changes Everything

"Time changes everything except something within us which is always surprised by change"- Thomas Hardy

I have learnt this by LIFE itself.

Yesterday I ran into an old friend. Once we were the best of friends. Today we are just strangers or to say....acquaintance. You may say SO? BIG DEAL? It happens. It happens many times.

Yes, I know that. I know it happens. But don't you think it’s strange? Two people who once share a great camaraderie become strangers after a while? Two people who once were inseparable later lead separate lives? Isn’t it ironical? And more importantly isn't it sad? Yes, it is. Indeed it is sad. But who is the culprit? Who takes the blame? People or feelings? Situations or something else?

The answer is TIME. Time is the culprit. Time changes everything. Though people may remain the same, places may remain the same, habits may also remain the same but TIME changes. And with it situations change. Feelings change. Priorities change.

You may have heard this before as I am not the first person who is saying it. But I am writing this because now I have experienced it, and understood its true meaning. Hmmm Life never fails to surprise you. It throws you a curveball when you least expect it. But then, this is also the BEAUTY OF LIFE.

The Mysterious thing called "LOVE"....

If you find yourself in love with someone who does not love you, be gentle with yourself. There is nothing wrong with you. Love just didn't choose to rest in the other person's heart.

If you find someone else in love with you and you don't love him/her, feel honored that love came and called at your door, but gently refuse the gift you cannot return, do not take advantage, do not cause pain.

How you deal with love is how you deal with you, and all our hearts feel the same pains and joys, even if our lives and ways are different.

If you fall in love with another, and he/she falls in love with you, and then love chooses to leave, do not try to reclaim it or to assess blame, let it go. There is a reason and there is a meaning. You will know in time.

Remember that you don't choose love. Love chooses you. All you can really do is accept it for all its mystery when it comes into your life. Feel the way it fills you to overflowing, then reach out and give it away.

Give it back to the person who brought it alive in you. Give it to others who deem it poor in spirit. Give it to the world around you in anyway you can. There is where many lovers go wrong. Having been so long without love, they understand love only as a need. They see their hearts as empty places that will be filled by love, and they begin to look at love as something that flows to them rather than from them.

The first blush of new love is filled to overflowing, but as their love cools, they revert to seeing their love as need. They cease to be someone who generates love and instead become someone who seeks love.

They forget that the secret of love is that it is a gift, and that it can be made to grow only by giving it away.

Remember this, and keep it to your heart. Love has its own time, its own seasons, and its own reason for coming and going.. You cannot bribe it or coerce it, or reason it into saying. You can only embrace it when it arrives and give it away when it comes to you. But if it chooses to leave from your heart or from the heart of your lover, there is nothing you can do and there is nothing you should do.

Love always has been and always will be a mystery. Be glad that it came to live for a moment in your life!

Lets Understand Love

How often we mistake some other feeling for love and forbid ourselves from experiencing its true meaning. and how often love touches our life in some way and we are unable to acknowledge it. So, lets understand love for once and for all and allow it to enlighten our lives in every way it can.

If you love some one because you think that he or she is really gorgeous...then it's not love ..it's Infatuation

If you love some one because you think that you shouldn't leave him because others think that you shouldn't ....then it's not love......it's Compromise

If you love some one because you think that you cannot live with out his touch .... then it's not love .... it's Lust

If you love some one because you cannot leave him thinking that it would hurt his feelings...then it's not love ...it's Charity

If you love some one because you share every thing with him ...then it's not love...
it's Friendship

But if you feel the PAIN of the other person more than him even when he is stable and you cry for him ... that's LOVE

If you get ATTRACTED to other people but stay with him without any regrets... that's LOVE

If you let him GO knowing that he has to but he doesn't want to ... that's LOVE

Love Marriage vs Arranged Marriage

I am sure you must be wondering why she has chosen such an old topic in such modern times, but my cousin's recent personal situation made me realize that this matter still affects many of the youngsters and so I decided to write about it.

This topic has been much debated since times memorial but it hasn't lost its sheen still. Ask any teenager about it and he or she will willingly lend their views or opinions about it.

So, the question is what is MY stand on it? Is love marriage better or an arranged one? Is love marriage more successful or an arranged one?

Well, my answer is no one. Neither I favor love marriage nor an arranged one. In my view both can be equally successful or unsuccessful and there are enough cases to prove that.

Marriage is the life long commitment between two individuals and success of any marriage depends upon those two individuals and not whether it was fixed by their families or not. Every marriage needs to be constantly worked at and as long as any couple does that, their relationship stands a good chance of surviving the lifetime. Problem arises when people aren't mature enough and end up choosing either wrong partners or not valuing the right ones. Those who are clear about their feelings and know exactly what they are looking for in their partner at the time of marriage are more likely to find their desired partners and have successful marriages.

In my view, it is the maturity of the couple that decides the success of their marriage and not whether they had loved before marriage or after.

Every Relationship Has An Expiry Date

Life is a one big teacher. One of the few things it has taught me is that every relationship has an expiry date. I firmly believe in it.
From my past relationships I have realized that people come and go. But eventually you have to walk alone.
Do you agree with me?

Who Decides A Person is Good or Bad?

Often we hear people declaring, he is good, he is bad, he is like this, he is like that, he did this, he did that. They seem to have opinion about just anyone and everyone, irrespective of how the person in particular is in reality. Are we right in doing so? If yes, who decides who is good or bad? And on what basis ?

Good and Bad are such subjective definitions. Someone who is very good to me may be not-so-good for someone else and vice-versa. So are we right in judging people merely on basis of their behavior towards us or someone else in particular? What should be our criterions for categorizing people into so-called good and bad slots? Who does it benefit and how? What is the need?

The Joy Of Motherhood

Strange it may sound, but I was one of the few girls who never liked kids before marriage. It's not as though I hated them, I did hold the cute ones and kissed them once in a while but kids otherwise meant more responsibility and less freedom to me.

But as the cliche goes Motherhood changes EVERYTHING. The moment I held my baby in my arms and looked at his precious face, I instantly fell in love with him. All those doubts and uncertainties (Will I be able to handle motherhood?, How would I change diapers, feed, or bathe a newborn?) instantly melted away. I instinctively knew that everything would be ok.

I grew up so much during the first few months of motherhood. I discovered that being a mother really is all that it's cracked up to be -- and much more. I could hardly believe that I was nurturing a brand new human life, that with my love, care, and attention, this tiny being would hopefully grow up to be a wonderful person. It was a lot to take in at the time, but these were definitely joyous thoughts.

The last six months haven't always been easy. I've had my fair share of sleepless nights, baby illnesses, and more recently, toddler tantrums. But through it all, my son remains the true pride and joy of my life.

So for those of you who might be going through your own period of doubt, believe me: I totally understand. Children don't come with owners' manuals to help guide us through parenthood. That is where parents creativity comes in. But in all likelihood things will work out just fine for you, and you'll soon experience the unparalleled joys of motherhood. And hey while being at it, don't forget YOURSELF, the woman in you! Find time for yourself. Make time for one or two things that will enrich your life. Replenish yourself or you'll have less to give to others.

I cannot complete my article without remembering the mother I have. My mother is the perfect role model for me. She has been there for her four children through good times, and trying times. She was there for us through each illness, and to cheer us on in competitions. She gave us enough freedom to find ourselves and become independent, yet set the boundaries to where we still felt safe in the world. Most of all she always had time for us for any and everything.

So I dedicate this article to my Mom, and to all the Moms out there with babies in your arms or in your hearts. May all of us continue to revel and take pride in the joy of motherhood!!!

Simple Joys

Do you take time to appreciate the simple joys in life? Do you smile at the sun or dance in the rain? Do you stop to smell a flower on a bush? Do you gaze at the star-studded sky or watch the birds fly? Do you take time to coo at an infant, or to watch puppies or kittens at play? Are you thankful for the air you breathe and the life you have been given? Most of all, do you ever take time to marvel in the profound fact that, of all the infinite possibilities in the Universe, God chose to create YOU?

Many of us fail to notice the little things that make life so sweet. We get caught up in the pursuit of "wealth and health, and name and fame, and all of that noise." In this ad-mad world that promotes the idea "bigger is better," it is so easy to forget to take time to appreciate the simple joys, the little gifts that life gives to us each and every day. Simple joys gives you a reason to smile when life gets tough. No moment, nothing in life, should be taken for granted. In developing gratitude for the simple joys, the little things in life, we come to truly enjoy and appreciate life - and then we are able to see the magic that surrounds us every moment.

Welcome to My Blog

Welcome to my blog!

Small things is all about my personal philosphy, how I see life as, what is important to me and how come. It is about all those things that often appear as a small things but mostly are not.
It is about relationships, feelings and perspectives.

I hope this journal helps me as well as all those who visit my blog in understanding why things are the way they are.

I welcome all feedbacks, comments and criticisms wholeheartedly.